PTFL materials

Three Key Aspects of EQ I Empathy Simon Baron- Cohen in his book zero degrees of Empathy describes two kinds of empathy: Affective and Cognitive Cognitive empathy is the facility to identify someone else’s thoughts, feelings and motives. To put yourself into someone else’s shoes to imagine what is in their mind. Affective empathy is the facility to identify with other people’s feelings and respond appropriately to them. Often people on the (Asperger syndrome) spectrum lack cognitive empathy but can feel and respond to other’s emotions. People with a psychopathic character often have cognitive empathy but lack the ability to feel as others do. (affective empathy). Empathy is a crucial ingredient in developing sustainable and productive working relationships. II Self – Regulation Managing one’s internal states, impulses and resources. A lack of self-regulation means that you are not sufficiently in control of how you express your emotions. A key ingredient of self-regulation is the ability to separate emotional experiences from actions. When you are frustrated at work can you express yourself in a way that is constructive both towards yourself and your environment? We all know about picking a fight with our spouses or kids when really we feel angry or hurt or frustrated because something is bothering us at work. Can you stay calm under pressure? If you are upset can you wait until you have found a productive way of expressing yourself? We can also disconnect from or suppress our feelings. When we do that, we are no longer aware of what we feel and can therefore not consciously manage our emotions. The notion of self-regulation is also related to how well you manage your work and home balance. How well can you shift from your “work state”? Can you slow down or is happiness a “ticked-off list”? III Self –Awareness Knowing one’s own internal states, preferences, resources and intuitions. A self- aware person is someone who knows his or her strengths and limitations. A key ability is to be able to accurately register your own reactions to people so you can use them as a diagnostic tool. Another aspect of self-awareness is to have a realistic sense of how others see you. (E.g. 360-degree feedback process) Different forms of spiritual practice such as yoga and meditation have self-awareness as their focus. During many workshops over the years we have observed that most people experience others as more confident and powerful than they experience themselves. Nature or Nurture? We work with the understanding that we develop as a result of the interaction between our genetic inheritance and our life’s experiences.

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